Screening What We Say to Our Children

I am writing this for all parents because I found myself asking one of my children a question in my mind that, I realized afterwards, would only raise anxiety.  Why would I want to do such a thing? When I thought about it, I realized that I was handing off my own anxiety and expecting them to fix it by changing something in their life.

As parents, we don’t realize the deep grooves we dig in our children by our attitudes. It might something like “nice girls don’t get angry” or worse, “how can you be such an idiot?” Whatever the attitude or belief, it can affect our children badly for a lifetime. As a therapist, I deal with this all the time, so much so that my intake asks people to describe their relationship with their mother and father right at the outset. It is a question that saves me a great deal of time.

In my case, I chose to deal with my own anxiety and not hand it off to someone else – certainly not my child!  Unfortunately, many parents don’t know this. They have never learned the importance of screening what they say.

Screens are simply that second look or evaluation, asking ourselves:  “will it help_____ to hear this?  Is it kind?  Will this add value to their life?”

If all parents simply took a few minutes to stop that thought from going to their mouth, and asked themselves whether this would be a helpful thing to say or not, a great deal of misery could be avoided. Once stopped, we can then deal with the issue ourselves by talking  to a therapist or wise friend.  There are so many ways to make ourselves feel better! We certainly do not need to pass on problems to our children.

Think “SCREEN!” the next time a thought of criticism comes to mind about one of your children. Usually they have greater wisdom than we do, hard as that may be to believe! Even if you cannot see it, they are struggling to do the best they can. Encouragement is always the better choice.

Dispelling Dismal Thoughts – Keeping the Lighthouse Lit

image: hatty hatori

You know the feeling when dismal thoughts creep in during the night, creating misery when you wake? We don’t have to stay overwhelmed; we have a powerful tool within us that can dispel these shadows effectively.

At our very CORE, we have a Divine Spark. Healers can see it and Kabbalists and other mystics have written about it. All it takes to access it, is practise. You never again have to feel victimized by dark thoughts because you can expand this Spark to wipe them out. 

Begin by breathing deeply and slowly releasing all tension. When you feel ready, start dropping your consciousness deep into your body with the intent of reaching your very centre – your CORE. You can do this anatomically or by imagining a stairway. Just keep going. It may take you 2 minutes or 30 – time does not matter -just keep at it; you WILL get there! You cannot miss it unless you give up. Everyone has a Divine Spark, no matter how many layers obscure it. When you think you are close, just keep approaching until you feel merged in the Divinity – however you sense it. Once merged, intend that You expand – first through the physical body, then the emotional self, and finally throughout all thoughts. At this point, You will feel entirely Light, all darkness dispursed. If You wish to continue, You can clear your room, dwelling and property. Personally I find it hard to expand further than this. Please know that you cannot do this for others because it is invasive – even more so than walking into another’s home uninvited. 

At the end, don’t forget to give thanks for this incredible gift we all have within. None of us need feel victimized by dark thoughts ever again! All storms dissipate eventually but in the meantime we have an inner lighthouse that keeps us off the rocks.


 For more information see my web site:


a spark of light can bring peace: hatty hatori

lighthouse painting:

Tools to Speed Your Process

These times are unbinding beliefs and other strictures that have held us captive for a long time. There are a number of things that you can do that will help this process.

Shannon Parsons:

 Dreams are a huge opportunity to free ourselves from long buried issues. Here is my way of gleaning guidance from them:

After writing down the dream, along with the associations I have around the main characters,  I begin by taking about 6 deep, slow breaths to drop myself into the dream zone. Then I begin to ask – “what does________mean?  Who does________represent in me? ”  Waiting for the answer is like being in meditation. The easiest way is to imagine yourself beside a clear pond; you then wait for the answer to float up from the depths. It takes a little patience but it will feel deeper than your usual mind chatter. This is the zone you want – the zone of dream guidance.

The answer may surprise you – or it may lead to emotion and a memory. You are being led on an unconscious journey – let it take you. Release any emotions that are uncovered and if you need to scream – do so. You can do this in your head just as effectively as out loud – but get all that buried emotion out. It can be mild or vicious. Don’t judge it – it’s only emotion and no one is hearing you. Buried rage can turn very nasty, so simply let it out. This doesn’t mean you are a bad person!

Keep letting the dream lead you where you need to go. If you allow the opportunity for full release, you will feel enormous freedom. Getting rid of of all this “sour gas”  means that you have more room for joy and peace and you’ll feel much lighter and happier. Dreams can uncover our wounds, guide us forward and tell the future. They are among our most potent guides.

I also teach people other forms of release that they can use at home. One is so effective that I before I do  energy therapy on survivors of abuse, I ask them to do two full weeks of this exercise, twice dailly. After that, they have far fewer traumatic memories rise to consciousness.  I don’t believe in re-abusing anyone with bad memories.

Another exercise heals early wounds so they no longer pattern our adult behaviour. We bring love and security by going back in time and re-framing mistakes our parents made. We all deserve to heal the distortions our parents and other adults placed on us by passing on unfortunate patterns. Gentle but firm, loving guidance is what all children need but many don’t get. We can heal mistakes  so they don’t saddle us with a lifetime legacy.

Jo Dunning’s free hour “Quick Pulse” is available each month online. It is both powerful and effective, though the effects are gentle. If you go to Jo and sign up for email notifications, the Quick Pulse is held once a month. Being in the energy of it is  relaxing and nourishing, never mind the positive effects on your life.

The tumult of these times is bringing deeply buried issues to the surface. If we have ways of working with a sudden onslaught of emotion, or memory or a dream state, the shake-up can release us. Tools are guideposts to happier realities.

The Great Dredging of the Final Quarter of 2012

Many of us are being thrown into unexpected tracts of misery, long hidden in our memory vaults. Someone today put it well. She said she feels compelled to seek forgiveness and purification, as though there is hardly enough time left.  Deeply painful memories were surfacing from her childhood. Sometimes, like today, she finds herself in the pits of hell, while most of the time experiencing real joy and wonder.  It seems a manic/depressive time. So much so that this person feels as though she is going crazy and wonders if she is unique. She isn’t. Fortunately, she uses the many tools at her disposal to handle this roller coaster ride. I had planned to stabilize her with table work – but in the end, all she needed was a witness who could meet her in her pain. With very little guidance, she brought herself through it.

It is hard to know, on your own, whether experiences these days are “normal” – or whether the screws are loosening. I. too, have had wild and “crazy” thoughts that have never entered my head before. But I know to observe, breathe and not grab hold of them; I know, too, how to self-soothe, and, I feel close enough to God (by whatever name) to hold ongoing and ordinary conversations. All this has been critical to navigate the rapids of this transition when shadows have been loosed in the world.

A variety of experience is showing up  –  from a feeling of compulsion to find the ultimate source of painful patterns, to wild and crazy thoughts, to a strong urge to seek redemption while forgiving everyone who has caused pain or harm. All of this is interspersed with moments or hours of almost ecstatic wonder – especially out in nature.

So don’t feel feel crazy or alone.  If you feel  you need help, by all means call a trusted practitioner who can meet you fully and authentically. I have many tools to offer for anyone on the mainland of Nova Scotia. I will also work at a distance but for that I need a full length photograph, your home address and to know that you have no history of mental illness, which is beyond my scope of practice.

watercolour: Susan Cornelis, Art Journals

Don’t EVER Lose Heart!

I have awesome clients.  They blow me away with their bravery, their determination, their ability to persist through difficult patches – and their willingness to seek greater joy through changing old patterns. Not that it takes a long time with energy work. And I give effective tools to ease pain and let it go. Still…

What really thrills me is to witness former clients building happier more effective lives after a course of treatment. Examples I can think of include an introverted mother who is now a respected doula and birth educator, speaking publicly and studying to further her career; another person, very shy and retiring, who hid an eating disorder for 25 years, walked into a meeting 10 minutes late, sat down and with a cocky smile, announced “you can start now. I’ve arrived.” Then there are the people who bounce joyfully into my office having kicked a lifelong depression. There was a person of retirement age whom I was deeply concerned about. A debilitating exhaustion had been untraceable for years in spite of seemingly doing all the right things. Not only did this person find the source, they cured it, and went on to train as a chef in a city far from home. I could go on – but you get the drift.

People have huge potential and a resilience that is awe-inspiring.  When you are discouraged, take heart and take that first step. All the rest will follow. Just seek support and help. Not one of us can do this journey alone.  If you have no extra money, think of something you can trade  – cooking? gardening? organizing? what skills can you barter?  Many of us are open to some of this.

Earthing is Critical – to Love and Manifesting

Some of us find grounding difficult, if not impossible. Life with others is a strain and often we find ourselves too isolated and living with anxiety. 

For any of us with early birth or infant trauma, or any kind of disconnection from our mothers, grounding becomes a challenge. 

But there is both hope and great talent to uncover on this journey.


Earthing, as I prefer to call it, involves befriending the earth as an archetypal and new mother – a replacement in some cases, for mothers who were disconnected themselves. Earthing is critical for making any healing work real, for manifesting and for allowing Love to be a potent force for raising our frequency.

Don’t be discouraged if you have trouble; grounding can be learned with practise and energy sessions. My own was learned – from the neck down. Now I am able to plant people in the earth through a smooth and gentle process that honours and quiets anxiety.

Fear is the emotion that we have to quell on this journey. Terror is more like it. Imagine coming into this plane of existence as a vulnerable baby, knowing it is not safe, while

experiencing circumstances that reinforce the fear. Babies with this history stay out of their bodies; they never fully incarnate – knowing it is not safe for them. People with this early history grow into dissociated adults, in extreme cases with mental challenges, or at very least, feel  “flakey” or “spacey”. Being present with other people is difficult, if not impossible, leading to a life full of anxiety.

Conscious intervention with healing work 

directed at multiple levels of the problem can turn this around completely.

Once this happens, the client, who has developed multiple talents of contact with other realms as a alternative to this one, becomes present in this concrete world. Their many creative abilities are able to manifest and turn into a potent force for achieving their goals.

The woman in the painting is gazing out at the vastness of other realms while being fully planted in the earth. This is the gift of a consciousness that has been anchored in the earth. Such brave souls truly bridge heaven and earth.




bubbles: orhanokay

daydreaming woman:  brushworks by monte

Dreams – Doors to Freedom

During times of clearing and testing, such as we are going through now, dreams are a significant doorway. They can lead us to deep, complex constellations trapping us lifetime after lifetime. Many are based on untruths, perpetrated by past forces of control.

Now is the most advantageous time we have had in eons to clear these entrapments – so be sure to use this time well.

Last night, the dream of a houseful of  my ex-husband’s friends, lazing around drinking and taking total advantage, evoked rage that erupted in fury. I’d finally had enough.  This was a final piece of punishment that I’d brought on myself, stretching back through time.

Sticky dreams – those that do not dissipate with morning, always indicate a wealth of meaning. Processing my dream this morning transported me through lives affected by the same theme, urging me to clear all aspects. Most recently, it had affected my name, my family relationships, marriages and finances.

Knowing how to track and clear issues arising from dreams is one of the gifts of my training. If you have significant ones that are memorable, and you are at a loss as to what to do, I strongly urge you to get in touch. It will be worth it, I assure you! 

Coming Home Through the Feminine

Casilda: abject, abandoned, ashamed, and finally reclaimed feminine. 

A Goddess name, she called it.

For most of my life my hidden first name lay dormant, covered and protected from the laughter it elicited. Until it was unearthed by chance by a powerful God/Goddess connected woman.

Already this name, a saint’s name, vibrating at 22, has led me on an alchemical journey; already she has found the feminine face of God for me, healing all inside that had blocked it. My world is turning into colour and poetry again – so long hidden from view.

Accepting, embracing all that has been rejected in us creates new worlds.

The feminine heart and womb always births the new.

Casilda, I welcome you home, as you call me through the grandmother that I am named for.



blossom image: Henny Donovan Motif

photo: Omotayo; Spiritual Birth


Ecstacy ~

I understand it now…

The world painted in colours I’d forgotten,


In scents, enchantments ~

A river of colour inflowing

my body, my senses stretching open in wonder,



I am travelling the in-between,

along the flow of things: 

A river of awakening,  re-enchanting 

my soul with earthy delight.


image: Diana Trout

Animal Teachers

I always knew my dog Sierra had come to teach me about unconditional love. Confirmation came at an animal communication workshop given by a woman who travels the world working with roaming lions, elephants and and other wild species.  Sierra became the “healing dog” of that entire workshop, clearly recognized by this well known animal communicator.

Tiru – our Siamese kitten, has just joined us. A long practised psychic commented that he was one of my teachers.  I can feel the higher-level connection. Someone who knows cats well met him shortly after arrival and was astounded at his clear trust: “it’s like he knows you!” she said in a tone of amazement. Yes.

Moving into wholeness means boundaries are dissolving. Some teach that whales and dolphins are a more enlightened species and we have much to learn from them.  No reason why enlightenment can’t reach us through other animals as well. The covering doesn’t matter to the soul and as we move more and more into the intuitive and telepathic realms, this will matter less and less.

Dissolve your judgements* and let yourself expand.  Wonder awaits in so many ways. 

*(for ways to do this see previous articles)

Sanctuary from Fear – or “the Matrix”

We hear often now “just BE in your heart”.  But HOW, some wonder?

The quickest way I know is this:  think of a person or an animal that you love deeply. Feel that love filling your heart. Let it take you over.

That’s it – you are there. Rest there, it is a sanctuary. Breathe it throughout your body or towards a situation bothering you.  Simply surround the situation with a blanket of love and ask that it be transformed.

Love is a very high frequency (500 on Dr. David Hawkins’ scale). Low frequencies do not survive in high frequencies. (Fear is very low, measured below 100 I believe.) Low frequencies, which are all matrix emotions, are blocked and eliminated because high frequencies are far more powerful. Exponentially so.

Fear CANNOT survive here. Nor can anger, judgement; guilt or any of the negative emotions. Rest here and ask that your angels take care of you. They are real and just need to be asked.

photo: Igor Zenin

Moving Towards the Totally New

2012 is a freaky journey, no two ways about it. You have to have a lot of inner fortitude – “guts”, in other words.  Those who know me, know me as a grounded, calm, person who is stable and “ordinary” in the loosest sense of that word.

In the past few months the clearing and forgiving I’ve always done has been intensified. Switching my thoughts to a bright view has become a constant habit and avoiding negativity has become imperative.

Last night in the middle of the night, I awoke to the strong sensation of my normal sense of myself as a human, with familiar  anatomy, fading into the background. In the forefront was the clear sensation of a sphere composed of lines of light – like a geodesic dome. I could still think but I felt a great deal of love.  I vaguely wondered how this was going to look and operate. When I awoke this morning all was back to “normal”. No one will look at me strangely today I don’t think!

 Just thought I’d mention it, in case anyone else is having weird things happen to them quite apart from time warps and bad memory and sudden exhaustion that I hear others mention.

Wild Call

Step out from icky

sticky emotion!

Nested in trees of learning, we taste the wind…

A wild calling, faint murmur of ethers; 

A curling wave, swelling,

testing our our balance, our strength.

Gate guardians: we don’t know how many…

Will we thread this eye of needle?

Do we have sufficient  I N T E G R I T Y ?  


Mind – un-bind,

Forget what they are doing! 

In Light we ride the wind!