Calling On Grandmother Compassion

 In her email, my friend named it “the narcissism of grandmothers”. No one talks about this source of real pain. For whatever reason, the joy of becoming a grandmother often seems to overtake our capacity for compassion.

My friend spoke of another friend, who had lost two daughters in a terrible accident  in the early 80s. The remaining sister was so devastated that she was unable to sustain a relationship until after her childbearing years.  The mother’s grief remains incapacitating at times and was especially  acute when a group of “friends”,  as they became grandmothers,  started chattering about their grandchildren, completely oblivious.  One grandmother would pull out the latest shots of grandchildren, followed by the others.  Although my friend alerted the group to how painful this was, they would forget and do it again. The stricken mother finally left the group.  The pain was just too much.


As grandmothers surely we know pain!  By now, we know that we carry our children’s pain on top of our own and have developed some compassion, or at least awareness. Let us remember the women who have lost daughters or have daughters who will never conceive. Let’s let the joy of our grandchildren be sufficient unto itself, remembering that spreading our joy can rip the scab off deep wounds.  I learned a lesson today that I hope to remember.

We are grandmothers: I call on us all to be gentle; to be considerate; to enlarge our capacity to hold one another through all phases and circumstances of life.


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About jm

Jane Moody offers advanced modalities of energy treatment, bodywork and counselling. A dynamic group of skills, gathered though extensive training (1800 hours of instruction in health therapies in addition to her BA.), can heal the roots of psychological suffering that prevent a satisfying life. The inspiration behind this work began in my early twenties after earning a B.A. from Vassar College in New York. I wanted to study both Medicine and Comparative Religion. I didn't do either but the interest stayed fresh. In the late 80's, I began my studies with a 16 weekend training leading to a certificate in Gestalt Therapy. A year later, I found a way to combine both earlier interests when I read Barbara Brennan's book, Hands of Light. I studied at her school for one year (1989/90) but decided against returning for family and personal reasons. That year, I had also completed a year's study in anatomy and physiology at Dalhousie University. By taking a taped course in "Awakening the Light Body", I was able to keep my knowledge growing. A few years later, I learned the bodywork of the Lightbody - "Flow Alignment and Connection". The next fall, it became possible to attend The School of Enlightened Healing in New York City (now in Asheville NC) and I graduated from there, 3 years later, with certification as a "Hands-on Healer" (1997). My practice began with Flow Alignment and gradually incorporated the new knowledge gained at this healing school in New York. Short weekend courses in Japanese Acupressure and Myofascial Release broadened my scope of bodywork techniques. In June of 2001, I graduated from A Society of Souls, Jason's Shulman's three year School for health professionals in Integrated Kabbalistic Healing. This powerful work is now the center of a range of healing skills that I bring to my clients. I live in East Chester, Nova Scotia with offices there and in Halifax, as well as a long distance practice by telephone.

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