PS. A Little More on Anger and Grieving

I’ve found there is quite a lot to say on this subject.  So bear with me while I add a few other thoughts…

photo: Doran Yount

The anger that descends when a special friend or family member dies needn’t have any target. It can be disguised as general irritability. Everything bugs us. Soon after the death of our friend, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me because I was so short-tempered. A friend assured me this was grief. Her theory is that this grieving anger causes many family fights around outcomes in wills: everyone is seeking a target. When my mother died, my father and I had the biggest row of our lives. He had found an old letter I had written and took issue with it all over again. For the first time in my life, I stood up to the old lion and cleared away many issues. So it’s not all bad.

Anger is active. We feel somewhat empowered by it, so it is an easy place to go when we don’t want to feel the leaden vulnerability of the final loss. Ultimately, when all other options are used up, we do land there. But it takes a number of stages to gradually draw us to this place of quiet sorrow, where the only outcome is acceptance.

About jm

Jane Moody offers advanced modalities of energy treatment, bodywork and counselling. A dynamic group of skills, gathered though extensive training (1800 hours of instruction in health therapies in addition to her BA.), can heal the roots of psychological suffering that prevent a satisfying life. The inspiration behind this work began in my early twenties after earning a B.A. from Vassar College in New York. I wanted to study both Medicine and Comparative Religion. I didn't do either but the interest stayed fresh. In the late 80's, I began my studies with a 16 weekend training leading to a certificate in Gestalt Therapy. A year later, I found a way to combine both earlier interests when I read Barbara Brennan's book, Hands of Light. I studied at her school for one year (1989/90) but decided against returning for family and personal reasons. That year, I had also completed a year's study in anatomy and physiology at Dalhousie University. By taking a taped course in "Awakening the Light Body", I was able to keep my knowledge growing. A few years later, I learned the bodywork of the Lightbody - "Flow Alignment and Connection". The next fall, it became possible to attend The School of Enlightened Healing in New York City (now in Asheville NC) and I graduated from there, 3 years later, with certification as a "Hands-on Healer" (1997). My practice began with Flow Alignment and gradually incorporated the new knowledge gained at this healing school in New York. Short weekend courses in Japanese Acupressure and Myofascial Release broadened my scope of bodywork techniques. In June of 2001, I graduated from A Society of Souls, Jason's Shulman's three year School for health professionals in Integrated Kabbalistic Healing. This powerful work is now the center of a range of healing skills that I bring to my clients. I live in East Chester, Nova Scotia with offices there and in Halifax, as well as a long distance practice by telephone.

1 thought on “PS. A Little More on Anger and Grieving

  1. Thank you for these words on writing about grief. I have been keniepg a journal for several years now, but before I started this I had already lost or thrown out the diaries I kept as a child. My sister died age 7 in 1980, so I would have liked to be able to look back on what I wrote as I was growing up. I recently decided to start writing a book about my journey through her death and my healing journey to the present and I found it hard going! It’s still on my to do’ list, although, having written only a few pages, has slipped off the top of the pile. If you have any tips for me, I’d appreciate them!

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